I Was Told I Was Too Ugly To Date
But maybe you’re dating in the wrong place.
Life’s never fair. I’ve told myself a lot of times. You see, while other men attract women simply with a cute smile, women can barely look me in the eye without apathy or disgust on their faces.
But the last straw? When someone jokingly told me this staggering line:
“I’m sorry, but you’re too ugly to date.’’
Sounds brutal? I couldn’t even say a single word. A friend confided in me one night, and I still remember how he grimaced after gulping the last shot of tequila.
This left me wondering. Is there such a thing as being too ugly to date?
Is the world that superficial? A big hoax that’s only after looks, fame, and money?
If you’re an average guy, is there hope for you to find love?
If we say yes and try to be a little optimistic, how can you, an average-looking guy (or someone who deems himself ‘’unattractive’’ or ‘’ugly’’) compete with a six-foot tall, good-looking, dreamy guy?
With the harsh truth and the realities of dating, it’s ideal to stay neutral when analyzing this subject to further explore the answers to these questions.
Competence matters too!
I once met this couple on a cruise ship. The woman had one of the best facial features I’ve ever seen. Perfectly angled, a proportioned nose, and an angelic smile that embodied true beauty. When a four-eyed, five-foot man turned up, I couldn’t believe she introduced him as her husband.
After a few small talks, I learned later on that they run a musical duo, and he was their own musical director. Looking at him, I was racking my brain for answers. How did this man win her heart?
When he talked about their band and the places they’ve been, it showed a lot about his character and confidence. Suddenly it all made sense with the way he talked and carried himself.
He’s not someone who strikes me as one of those hunky handsome guys. She must have married him for his competence then. Looks aren’t everything after all.
In a study where competence was measured in a person’s education and income, it revealed that men’s competence, as shown in their dating profiles (e.g., education, occupation, etc.), helps gain the interest and attention of women.
While you would agree that liking someone solely for their physical qualities doesn’t sound fair, isn’t it the same as liking a person based on their status and education? Aren’t these things superficial? Should they be the basis for someone’s value and true personality?
Well, it depends.
If you were a woman made to choose between a good-looking slacker and a not-so-handsome, well-educated man, who would you choose?
If you choose the former, maybe things could work out for a short period. In the beginning, it would feel like living in a magical world with your prince charming. But later on, you’ll realize that you need someone who can take responsibility, someone you can call your partner for life, a person with whom you can hold hand in hand in life’s challenging traverse.
When a man achieves higher education and becomes well-positioned in life, it shows that he knows accountability and responsibility. This generally says that a man has worked hard to reach the status that he is currently at. And, with hard work comes the value of perseverance and patience, which are among the most desirable traits and values of a man.
On the other hand, if for some reason you weren’t able to obtain a higher education, it wouldn’t totally affect your chances of finding someone who can truly love you.
Are you currently a student? Or between jobs? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. You don’t have to be a six-digit earner to deserve love. Look at the current status of your life and find something you can work on more for your betterment.
If you’re currently a student, work hard to excel and earn good grades. If you’re in between jobs right now, learn new skills to boost your resume and hireability. If you have a low-paying job that you love, strive for bigger responsibilities or positions that will increase your monthly salary.
As long as you nurture your strength as a person, and you have the values of hard work and perseverance, you’ll attract women who see those values as worthy and desirable.
Competence shows character and helps build up a man’s attractiveness.
Maybe you’re dating in the wrong place.
If you think dating apps are exclusive to people who have alluring and stunning photos to display, you’ve got it right for the most part. Online dating is also for those who are used to rejection, or worse, humiliation. With endless options online, it’s easy to swipe to the next profile in just a matter of seconds.
When you’ve experienced rejection multiple times, you’ll come to believe that you’re undateable or just too ugly to date. It can be daunting to even give online dating a try.
Instead of masking a nice profile on dating apps, how about you go places instead?
Explore the great outdoors and meet a bunch of free-spirited people. Think of something you’ve been wanting to do — an interest, hobby, or a dream trip, maybe? Living a more active lifestyle will give you the exposure you need to gain more self-confidence.
If you’re made to believe that you’re not physically attractive enough, then prove that you’ve got more worthwhile qualities to offer. Connect with people and have meaningful conversations with them, or take part in enjoyable and adventurous activities.
You can do this by taking up some lessons or classes, like learning a new language, cooking, or even an art or music workshop. You can also go all out by traveling to places you’ve never been to. The world is too big, and there are a lot of women out there who can better appreciate your qualities and strengths.
Some people might sign up for international matchmaking services. If you think that sounds way over the top, then you can initially have it for travel and leisure purposes.
If you’re tired of getting rejected for the way you look, put yourself in a position where you can build real connections with people.
Yes, looks matter in dating. But I don’t think anyone’s too ugly to date. Attractiveness comes in many forms. It can be a person’s physical traits for some, it can be internal qualities for others.
