How Women Can Support Men in Society
To all the women in the world, picture this:
You wake up one morning to find yourself living inside a middle-aged man’s body. The coat and tie hanging in the open closet remind you of your routine. You go to work and step out into a world where softness and vulnerability have no place for you.
How does this scenario make you feel?
Oftentimes, we hear women say, ‘’I wish I was a man.’’
What if that wish was granted? Would it make any difference to your long-held beliefs regarding the treatment of men in our society?
I should hope so.
Many advocates for women’s rights and protection have contributed to the rising opportunities for women. However, some people have unconsciously grown to antagonize and set unhealthy expectations towards men.
This is problematic in so many aspects. For one, a few studies support that both men and women are emotionally equal. Shaming men for being emotional is one of the unhealthy societal expectations that make men more susceptible to depression.
So, how then can women support men in society? Or better yet, taking gender out of the picture, how do we become better people who can support each other by breaking toxic societal norms and gender roles?
Stop Tolerating Sexist Jokes
It’s pretty alarming to see people being okay with hurtful jokes that can compromise a person’s self-esteem. I often hear the response ‘’No biggie, it’s just a joke.’’
How can we challenge toxic masculinity when we reinforce such forms of entertainment? Jokes are a type of social interaction, hence their influence on either collecting or dividing people.
What does it say about us when we laugh at jokes about men wearing bright colors, or men being soft and emotional?
It shows how prevalent gender inequalities and stereotypes are even in this age of modernity. We should stop laughing or making jokes about men who don’t seem to conform to certain gender stereotypes.
So, how do you deal with or respond to sexist jokes?
First of all, don’t laugh. Instead, ask for explanations. It forces the person to pause and realize that the joke is rather offensive. You don’t have to be antagonistic about it. You can just lead the person on by asking questions that start with ‘’Why do you think…’’ or ‘’Could you enlighten me with..’’
Anyone can have a friendly conversation about sensitive issues as long as they keep an open mind and avoid using insulting words.
Encourage Men to Open Up
According to statistics, the number of men who died by suicide are twice as many as women in the year 2020.
The number of middle-aged men who died from suicide in the U.S. is disturbing. It’s high time for us to talk about interventions when it comes to mental health awareness among men.
Interventions can start with simply creating a safe space for men to open up about their feelings and talk about them. Why do many men tend to suppress their emotions in the first place? Because society laughs and shames them when they do so.
While traditional gender roles are rooted in biological evolution (for example, men are expected to be the protector and provider for being the stronger sex in physical attributes), gender stereotypes can be detrimental to the well-being of both men and women.
How, then, do we create a safe space for men where they won’t be ashamed of being emotionally vulnerable?
First, we need to establish a new mindset about masculinity. Does being nice and empathetic make someone less of a man? The simple answer is no. Humans should be nice and empathetic in the first place.
Of course, changing one’s mindset and gaining a better perspective doesn’t happen overnight. It can take time, especially since society still has a lot to learn. Start with reading books that raise awareness on gender equality.
If you’re not one to read, you can listen to podcasts or watch videos of professionals or advocates talking about prejudice against men and ways to break them.
When you expose yourself to this subject, you will learn to reevaluate masculine strength, which is beneficial for the well-being of men in our society.
As we support and encourage men to be more emotionally open, women need to understand that talking about their feelings and emotions is not most men’s cup of tea.
How can we practice and promote emotional literacy if we can’t be considerate and patient? It’s crucial to have that consistent understanding by not giving up on them.
Listen by Acknowledging
Another way women can support men in society is through listening by acknowledging them. This means not merely listening to them when they open up, but also acknowledging their feelings as valid or reasonable.
You can use phrases like ‘’I can understand why you’re feeling frustrated right now,’’ or ‘’I would feel the same.’’
Choosing the right language can reassure them that it’s okay to feel such emotions and that there’s someone who’s willing to listen to them. It’s very important to stay neutral by not blaming them for the situation.
When men push their feelings down, they slowly form a ferocious beast inside them that could potentially break loose at any time. Those feelings can shapeshift into other forms of emotions, such as anger, shame, and violence.
That being said, it’s critical to address them earlier by having someone to express and discuss them with.
Normalize Seeking Help from Professionals
While a lot of women are willing to help create a safe space for men to be emotionally vulnerable, men shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk to a professional counselor or therapist.
We should encourage men to seek help from professionals who are trained to address mental and emotional issues. This won’t be an easy task since the stigma is currently present in society.
Continuously encouraging men to talk to a professional can help them overcome their fear of the stigma. But you don’t want to sound too pushy about it and just try to say it in a casual tone. Praise even the smallest progress they make towards it.
Society has been telling men to toughen up, so they always have to put up a strong and brave image. The problem sometimes is we tend to rely on those who appear to be strong physically and emotionally. We forget to ask if the pressure is too much to handle.
With all the burdens men have to carry from unhealthy societal expectations, can they still endure?
